Do you remember a movie that came out in the late 1990’s called ‘How Stella Got Her Groove Back’, starring Angela Bassett and Taye Diggs? Angela Bassett plays a very successful 40-something woman named Stella who is persuaded by her bestie to take a well-deserved first-class vacation in Jamaica. Not only does she soak in the sun and the beauty of the island, but she meets and starts a juicy romance with Winston, a handsome and virile young man who is 20 years younger than she is. As a result, she ends up with a whole new perspective on life that is juicier than it ever was!
I know what you’re thinking. That this post is all about how you too can get your mojo back by traveling to a beautiful island paradise and hooking up with a younger man.
Ha! You are in for a humdinger of a surprise then, sister. And it’s a good one, I promise (you can thank me later).
If sexing it up with a sexy stranger is what floats your boat, honey, I’m certainly not going to tell you to do otherwise. It’s up to each of us to determine what it is we really need and to responsibly have those needs met. What I will say to you is ‘why stop there’? Sure, Stella got her groove back, but it wasn’t merely because she was getting it on with the wickedly sexy Winston.
Stella’s groove came back because she awakened in herself something that she had long forgotten. Something that had been asleep and absent from her everyday life for far too long. She woke up the sleeping giant that is asleep in so many of us. Our divine feminine. Our sensual and erotic creature. Our creative life force.
My point is this. There are a lot of ways for us as women to get ‘turned on’ … about our lives, about our work, about our relationships and yes, about our sexuality. We don’t have to go on an expensive exotic vacation and jump on a Jamaican hottie in order to be ‘turned on’ and living the very juiciest lives we possibly can (though as I said, I’m not knocking Stella’s approach one little bit).
Being in a ‘turned on’ state has enormous benefits. When we can fully awaken to the power we have inside ourselves, we are our most authentic selves. And your authentic self is your most beautiful and amazing self.
So you may be asking yourself, how do I do that? How do I awaken to my most authentic and juicy self?
Here are 5 simple ways to get you started on the path:
1. Establish an Ecstasy Practice – Pick one thing you can do every day or every week that makes you feel genuinely ecstatic and bursting with joy to be alive. Single (or partnered) and can’t remember the last time you had a rock-your-socks-off orgasm? Make it a nightly practice to self-pleasure before you go to sleep or upon waking in the morning. Love to listen to music but never find the time anymore? Make it a weekly practice to create a fun playlist that matches your desires and intentions and then listen to it often — on the subway, when you’re getting ready for your day or during your lunch break. Whatever you choose, commit to it and watch how things around you begin to light up.
2. Move That Beautiful Body – A woman’s body was designed to move and yet sadly most of us are not doing this on a regular basis. One of the best ways to turn on that beautiful light of yours is to get into your body. Really get in to it. Move it like it has never moved before. Have a 10-minute dance party in the mornings. Or 2 minute dance breaks in the middle of the day. Find an introductory belly dance or erotic dance class in your community and sign up! Need another reason for getting into your body? You will get out of your head and start to feel and hear what your body really wants. This is how you access your true desires and get ‘turned on’ about your life!
3. Wake Up Your Senses – Being in touch with your sensuality is all about paying attention to the experiences of your 5 senses — everything that you can see, touch, taste, hear and smell. Mostly we just take these things for granted. Rarely do we pay close attention to these experiences and yet the opportunities for ‘turn on’ are everywhere. What would happen if you were to turn up the volume and start paying attention every day? Try this. Slowly bite into a warm, juicy peach. Notice how it smells of summertime and sweetness. If you are really tuned in, you might even be able to smell the outdoors and the tree from which it was picked. With your fingertips, notice the soft fuzziness of its skin. Let the sweet juices run over your lips, your tongue and even your chin and notice all the sensations that bubble up. One of my favorites things to do in this regard is to shop. I love going into a department store and feasting my eyes, fingers and nose on anything and everything that appeals to me … those fluffy soft bathroom towels, that slippery negligee or that delicious scented candle. It’s a total turn on and absolutely FREE (that is, until I grab on to some of those luscious items and end up at the cashier stand)! As you go about your day, notice all the opportunities you have to wake up your senses and take full advantage of them!
4. Stoke Your Creative Genius – Do you have a craft project you started months ago that you haven’t gotten around to finishing? Is your beautiful Nikon camera sporting a layer or two of dust from lack of use and neglect? Do you keep thinking about that book you want to write someday? Listening to our heart’s desires and acting on them is the surest way I know to affirm that we are indeed alive and still kicking. Whether we try and fail or try and succeed, it is always the action step that is the most critical. It is the forward movement that continues to fan the flames of our desires and ultimately brings us the pleasure we are seeking. Take one action today to move something forward that has been stuck. Pick up that needle and put a few cross-stitches into that beautiful tapestry you started (and remember how excited you were when you first found that pattern). Pick up that Nikon and take it on a walk with you in nature. Snap anything that inspires you and then be surprised and elated by what you captured when you sit down with a cup of tea to flip through your magnificent shots. Sit down at your laptop and do a stream of consciousness dump of all the ideas you have for that best-selling book. Here’s the genius part: Action inspires more action. Don’t be surprised if that book starts writing itself once you give it the initial push!
“The moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves as well. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen accidents, meetings and material assistance that no one could have dreamed would come their way. Whatever you can do or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.”
– Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
And finally …
5. Get to Know your Inner Seductress – You may find some resistance here given that our culture has placed a very negative frame around that of the Seductress. She is oftentimes known as the whore, the femme fatale and the manipulator. But there is a yin for every yang, and so it is with the Seductress. Reframe her and see her as the powerful life force that she is. Sit down and imagine you are sitting with your Inner Seductress and having a conversation with her (she’s inside you, I promise … it may just take some time to locate her if she has been pushed down deep for a long time). What message does she have for you? What it is like for her? Sit down and listen to her like you were sitting down with a new friend … be curious and really get to know her. If you are so inspired, you may even invite her to have a cup of tea!
[The Inner Seductress (and the Inner Good Girl!) are the focus of my next post … be sure to check back soon!]
Some parting words …
Remember that any new habit takes time and consistent practice. It can be hard work to ascend to a more magical place!
Be compassionate and patient with yourself. Each and every day in every way. If you forget, create a reminder for yourself. Print this article and post it on your fridge or paste it into your digital calendar.
Whatever you do, don’t give up. Your juiciest self has been waiting for you to unleash her.
This is only the beginning.
From my Juicy heart to yours,