Recently I had a very poignant (and uncommon) conversation with a dear girlfriend of mine. I say uncommon because how often do we share with those closest to us that we’re feeling a bit down and out in the sensuality department? Exactly. I’m not one for small talk anyway. I much prefer having deep, meaningful and juicy conversations that support both parties.
I’m extremely blessed to have built up a group of like-minded women around me and consider this web of love and support they provide as critical to my own self-care and growth. If a community is missing from your own support system OR you do have an amazing circle of women around you, let me know in the comments below and I’ll create a future post about that.
Anyway, I digress. Where was I? Oh yes! First, I was both touched and humbled that my friend would come to me seeking advice and guidance. And then I was both thrilled and super excited to be able to provide her with a few areas where she could start looking for herself. As I began to think about how I could best support her, it occurred to me that we all need a pick-me-up from time to time. Oftentimes we know what to do, but we just haven’t been practicing. Not intentionally, anyway. Information is great, but without intentional practice it can seem useless (and oftentimes hopeless). Practice doesn’t make perfect, but consistency and intentionality over time will engrain those practices in you until they feel like the most natural thing in the world. The key is to be patient and to not give up before that happens.
So without further adieu, I’d like to share with you some of my favorite practices for enriching and deepening my sensual life. These practices ground me and keep me anchored inside my own intentions and goals for my life and help guide who I want to be as I walk around in the world. Without them, I am swayed by my habitual tendencies, the needs and agendas of others and the other ups and downs of life that can take over the helm.
:: 1 :: Bathtime Ritual – This is such a favorite of mine, especially during the chillier months. I know many of you probably already do this. If not, give it a whirl! If you do, see what else you can bring to the experience beyond the basic essentials that deepens it for you. For me, I use this soft oversized loofah sponge to bring the hot water up over my shoulders, down my back and chest, up and down my arms, etc. I also love warming up a nice massage oil (YL Sensation is good or I also like a simple coconut, almond or sesame oil) and taking the time to cover my body right after stepping out of the bath is heavenly. This is also a good time for a nice, slow breast massage. Give the girls some love!
:: 2 :: Morning/Evening Rituals – I also make these a sensual experience because it’s such a good time to pay attention and bring yourself into present moment awareness. Slowing down to brush your teeth, put on your makeup, brush your hair, etc. Same in the evening – I enjoy washing away the dust & dirt of the day and changing into comfortable loungewear or silky pajamas. One big thing I added to these rituals was no technology. No checking in with the outside world before or after a certain time. Ahhh! Pure bliss.
:: 3 :: 90-Minute Massage – I do this monthly as part of my overall health routine. Find a good masseuse that you can create a fun partnership with. Mine allows me to bring in my own YL essential oils instead of the crappy ones the spa uses for aromatherapy – makes a big difference in my overall experience. She will also do some stretching of my hips/legs that is just plain easier for another person to do, especially when they have you all warmed up and on a table already. Create your own experience — and then practice a focusing exercise where you simply enjoy and experience how your body is being touched, its responses, what it brings up, the energy flowing back and forth, etc. It’s such a great time to practice mindfulness rather than running over the endless to-do list in your mind!
:: 4 :: [wow_colorme]Stretching — Sounds really simple, I know. But stretching is a very simple and quick way to get us into our bodies. Great to do before you even get out of bed (where most people just hop out of bed & go!). I’ll do it throughout the day when I notice a specific tightness, maybe in my lower back or hips or thighs. It’s also part of my evening ritual. Listening to what your body needs and then doing it is all you need to do on this one.
:: 5 :: Thighs — Ok, this is a fun one you can do when you’re walking. Just notice your thighs rubbing together. Like, really notice how this feels and point your full focus on it as you’re walking. This is also one where it helps to slow your pace down.
“Does my sexiness upset you? Does it come as a surprise that I dance like I’ve got diamonds at the meeting of my thighs?” ~ Maya Angelou
:: 6 :: Favorite Scent — I keep an essential oil blend roller in my purse and in my desk so that I can dab a little on anytime I want a pick-me-up. Behind your ears, on your wrists and definitely between your breasts. Ooo la la! 🙂
:: 7 :: Favorite Lipgloss/Lipstick — I usually have 3 or 4 of my favorites in my purse at any given time AND within easy reach. It can also be fun to keep a vintage mirror nearby to apply that lipgloss/lipstick, even if you don’t need one!
:: 8 :: Visualization with your Inner Seductress/Temptress/Sensual Adventurer — This is a pretty powerful one. Getting to know your inner sensual woman. Close your eyes and take 3 deep breaths. Visualize a feminine figure far off in the distance that is coming slowly towards you. As she gets closer, notice how she looks, what she is wearing, how she moves and her overall energy. When she is standing in front of you, look into her eyes and when you are ready, ask her what it is that she needs. Fully receive her answer even if she has nothing to say. Ask her if there is anything else she wants you to know. Receive her answer again. When she is complete thank her, give her a warm hug and watch her walk away. Take 3 more deep breaths and open your eyes. Write in your journal about what she shared with you.
:: 9 :: Dancing — This could be a short dance party at your desk or you and your partner doing a little jig together — in your living room or out at a live music venue. It could be a belly dance intro class or waltzing across the dance floor with your partner at a friend’s wedding. Watch for and create opportunities to dance! Also, check out Qoya Dance — http://www.qoya.love/#qoya-intro. There are a number of really great YouTube videos under the Resources area of this site. Super fun!
:: 10 :: Simple Cooking — For me simple cooking means preparing a healthy dish with 5 or less ingredients. I especially love it if the dish calls for me to chop up some fresh vegetables or herbs. What a great opportunity to practice mindfulness and then get to enjoy a fresh, healthy meal to boot!
I hope you enjoy putting these practices to work in your own juicy life. Please leave me a comment below and let me know how it’s going and if there are any specific practices you would add to this list. The more we share with one another, the more juicy conscious women there will be in the world to dance and play with!